


Crime... Does Pay?

by Shamaru



Category: The LEGO Movie (2014)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:22:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23136865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shamaru/pseuds/Shamaru
Summary: The boys decide to rob a house, get caught in the process, and... gain jobs?
Kudos: 8





	Crime... Does Pay?

When they were younger they’d wanted to be cops. They’d trained for it all their lives and wanted it more than anything. Sadly it wasn’t meant to be. They were turned away after being told that they should find a new career choice.

Their next choice, however...

“Put th’brick down!” Bradley snapped. “You want to get caught?”

Gair dropped the item he’d picked up and dusted off his hands on his jeans. “It’s always what they use in the movies though.”

“Stop going by movies. Nothing in them is right.”

The two stood at the back wall of a rather large home, crouched beneath a window in the dead of night. It was quiet and not a single light was on. 

The place was the known home of one of the most famous men in Bricksburg- owner and founder of Octan Corporation, designer of the city’s robotic police force, and collector of valuable relics. Not to mention exceedingly rich. That was why the brothers were there.

Bradley had done research on the man who lived there and had spent a week stealthily observing his daily routine. Since retiring, the public eye had failed to catch onto the fact that Mr. Business had been hosting a guest for quite some time in his home. The fact that the young man was seemingly half the other’s age and the two were constantly seen with linked arms within the home would have made great tabloid gossip if the limelight hadn’t fallen from the millionaire. That wasn’t the point though. The point was that the young man had a bad tendency to forget to lock the windows every now and then.

With a quick shove the window came open under Bradley’s hand and he grinned. 

“C’mon.” he beckoned to his twin. “In and out quick as possible. Grab whatever looks expensive. And for th’love of the Man Upstairs, _don’t_ make a sound.” Much as he loved his brother, Gair wasn’t made for theft. But he also refused to stay at home so there wasn’t much to be done about it.

The two slipped inside and went in opposite directions to hunt through the house.

Bradley came across a room filled with glass cased pedestals not long after parting from his brother. All manner of strange things glistened and gleamed from beneath the glass and he could almost envision the price tags on each and every one. The most expensive looking pieces would be his target of course. With the utmost care he lifted the glass off of one item and set it down beside the pedestal before standing again to reach for the strange horned helmet, failing to notice the figure suddenly standing behind him.

Gair, on the other hand, ended up admiring the home’s decor instead of nicking anything. It was a very well decorated place and everything there had a sort of warmth and charm to it. Potted plants were scattered all over and a few model spaceships had been carefully hung from the ceiling above. There were also framed photos on tables and the walls of the man he knew was Business, a younger man with the happiest expression Gair had ever seen in every single photo, and a second young man in several photos sporting a Cape Space pin on his blue jacket. 

“Hello there.”

The sudden voice made Gair jump and he whipped around with a yelp. Somewhere on the other side of the building he heard Bradley yell and the sounds of a fight broke out. But he was trapped- a figure standing in the doorway. 

“Ah.” Gair fidgeted in place. “Er... Hello?”

“Not much of a robber are you? You or your friend.” the other said.

“Maybe I’m just not your average criminal.”

“You don’t seem like you do any crime at all, young man.”

Gair didn’t, but he couldn’t look like a complete failure in front of the man they’d been trying to rob. “Of course I do crime! I do all sorts of crime! I’m a regular criminal mastermind!”

“You’re adorable.” the voice chuckled.

Before Gair could reply there came a shuffling sound growing closer along with muffled growls and noises of restrained struggling.

“I caught the intruder, sir.” a new voice stated. “And it looks like you found a second one.”

“Mmm. I don’t think this one is much trouble. Could you get the lights, young man?” 

Gair wasn’t sure what to think about this situation. He and his brother had broken in, both had been caught, and now he was being asked politely to turn on the lights? How strange. Yet he found himself doing just that- walking to the wall and feeling for the switch which he flicked on. Then he glanced up to see just what they were dealing with.

His brother was dangling in a headlock by a much shorter man, the hold forcing him to double over backward with his grip on the other’s arm the only thing keeping him standing. How the shorter man was staying on his own feet was a mystery. He wore a blue painted officer’s helmet, a crack running up the side, and a blue jacket with a Cape Space pin stuck on the left side of the collar. Gair recognized him as one of the younger men in the photos around them.

Then there was the other man. Looking twice as old as the one holding his brother, but carrying himself as if much younger. He had auburn curls with gray at the bottom edges and was dressed in a soft gray bath robe and red slippers. In his hand was clutched a silver cane with a rounded top that appeared to be a golf club at first glance. Or maybe it actually was a golf club. Gair squinted and decided that, yes, the man was using a golf club as a cane.

“Should I call Lucy, sir?” the helmeted man suddenly asked.

Business shook his head though. “No need to involve the cops tonight, Benny. She wanted to spend the night with Emmet for their anniversary anyway, remember?”

The young man, Benny, looked thoughtful at that. Under his arm Bradley squirmed and growled. “Then what should we do with these two?”

“Well, they didn’t actually take anything.” Business turned his head toward Gair, though looked slightly too far to the right. With a start Gair realized the man was blind. “I say we should let them go.”

“If that’s what you say, sir.”

Suddenly Bradley was released and he fell to the floor with a yelp. Gair was by his side quickly to help him up and to also restrain him from attacking the man who’d dropped him.

“So that’s it?” Gair asked. “You’re just letting us go?”

“Sure, sure. Why not?” Business questioned with a smile.

“Because we tried to rob you?”

“Do you two have jobs?” Benny asked, changing the topic entirely.

“What?” Bradley snapped. “Y’think we’d be reduced t’thefts if we had real jobs?” he snorted.

“We’re... kind of just trying to scrape by.” Gair admitted. 

“Can’t get hired proper anywhere.” Bradley grumbled. He brushed off his brother’s restraining arms and crossed his own. “Too many conditions t’work with between th’two of us.”

“You two have any interest in being bodyguards?” Benny was grinning now too, though no trace of joking was in his voice. “You’ve definitely got the muscles for it, big guy. Some proper training would turn you into a beast.”

“That’s a wonderful idea, Benny.” Business agreed. “What do you say, boys?”

The brothers glanced at each other. Then back to Benny and Business.

“You’re serious?” Bradley asked.

“Completely.” Business replied.

“Would you be open to hiring a third person? We’ve got a younger brother at home.”

“Of course! The more the merrier!”


End file.
